to my sister

today is Stephanie's anniversary - 4 years ago today, my big sister died in a tornado, refusing to take shelter because she wouldn't leave her horses. she is a hero to me most days; other days, i curse the heavens that she didn't have more self-preservation instincts.

today i wear her jewelry - a necklace and ring that is perfectly her. i toast her with a cocktail. i think through every moment of that day. i think of how she will always be young, and that i'm older than she will ever be.

and i hope with all of my heart that she's watching over me.