fighting, fighting.

i am now experiencing the nightmare of Backordered Percorten-V, the stuff that keeps my sweet fuzzy faced girl alive, fer crying in the ketchup. there isn't any. i was lucky, i had a few ml's left from a previous vial, and was able to buy a ml from the vet, so pup will get her full shot this month. now we look at getting her onto Florinef, a pill form. i panicked when i began researching it - 3 or 4 sites had it listed as $1.39 per pill, and because it is given by weight, pup would need 9 pills a day. that's right, it would take about $375 a month to keep pup alive, not including her other meds, food and checkups, god forbid she have any more infections or emergencies. as i was seeing my financial future go further down the toilet, i happened onto a canadian site that carries Florinef for, get this, $0.29 cents a pill!! or somewhere around there. and so we go into a new adventure of finding ways to shove nine pills down pup's throat every day for the rest of her life. and figuring out the transition, and when her bloodwork should be checked now, side effects, and on... luckily, dr. m is back (and swamped) but i've played phone tag with her and she knows of my situation and wants pup to get on florinef now. i bet sales of that will skyrocket now.

this is my question, and it's a tiny one, really: how can a company not make a life-saving drug, from which they reap big profits? i know they are a for-profit business. i know drug companies are a necessary evil in our lives. and i know they don't give a shit about our precious pups and how far we will go to keep them safe and healthy. but they make the stuff - can there be a world-wide shortage of pivilate? or maybe they need to borrow a cup of desoxy?? or maybe the guy with the recipe left in a huff over being overlooked again for that promotion and a bigger cube - I DON"T CARE. MAKE THE DAMN MEDICATION. idiots.

i contacted Novartis, the manufacturer, and asked them why they were backordered, asked them to please hurry up and make it again. wonder if i'll hear from them...

i'm ready to have a boring, rut-filled life. i'm ready for pup to sleep by me on the couch, relaxed and satisfied by her easy, healthy life. i'm ready. my latest hopes: that pup will react well to the new meds, that she will learn to love having things shoved down her throat, that i will learn not to worry about things before they happen.

i have never fought so much as i have lately. for my pup, for my home, for my neighborhood, my world. i must be getting old, because i don't care what people think anymore. i know myself better than ever, and i will continue on that path, becoming more and more assured in my actions and beliefs. i will not be bullied anymore, i will not be afraid all the time. maybe it just took something worth fighting for.

peace, you big world, you.