destiny

well, today is a good day! my darling fuzzface is officially healthy enough to get her vaccines! she was so good at the vet's - i got to go back with her to the treatment room, because there was a student meeting, so fewer bodies and room for me. as people came in and out, they greeted her by name - everyone seems to know her, which is lovely because she is indeed a rock star, but makes me sad that she's had to be there so often to be so well known. she got her shots, and DIDN"T have to give a urine sample (on her back, taken with a needle, and can't be too pain-free), and she was so happy to get out of there! we romped a little when i brought her back home, then i had to get back to work.

i wish so badly that i could be home with her more often. not every day, but more than two days in seven. i know she sleeps mostly, i know she's just fine guarding the house by herself, but wouldn't it be lovely to have just a few more days with her? i guess i realize her mortality, that her days are few in comparison to mine, and i want more of them. i figure that if i can get her past eight years, the rest is extra. my goal is ten years, and she's five now. so far so good.

i think that Stephanie's death has made me realize, too, that it's so easy to die. one wrong decision, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and it's over. death is so close to us, closer than i ever thought. a lot of it is out of our control, so things happen when they do. i just want the odds in my favor. i wear my seatbelt, i floss, and i get regular checkups. the rest is up to the gods.